Mr. Mom Goes to School
There may be a trend in the making. Some young men are staying home with the children while the wife goes heigh ho, heigh ho each weekday morning. An interesting twist, this seems to be a workable solution for families in which the husband is in a non-traditional career like creative writing, has a technology job that can be performed on a flexible schedule from a home office, or is in career transition. A number of young men need to back out of their careers and start all over to become who they might have been. Online and evening educational programs make the Mr. Mom role especially attractive.
In my experience men seem particularly prone to bad career choices on the first round. Many young men just don’t give much thought to their future while in high school, or worse yet, harbor the unrealistic idea that they can become a pro athlete (you wouldn’t believe how many 12-17 year olds cling to that dream!) and then scramble quickly to land on a major in college. Often the major is one they think will bring monetary success without their having bothered to determine whether or not it fits their temperament and talents. Capability has been considered without regard for suitability. How often have I seen unhappy accountants, lawyers and engineers! Some suffer throughout an entire career.
Recently I became acquainted with a retired accountant, whom I could see was very knowledgable in his field and who had owned a very successful CPA firm a few years back until health problems arose. I marvelled that this man had remained so long in the field, because he has a personality and temperament that seem “out of character” for this profession. His mind races ahead with ideas that his speech can hardly keep up with (something I measure when clients work with me, because idea productivity is a real asset in some careers and a real drag in others). Howard’s a very gregarious fellow who enjoys enteracting with people and I imagine if he’d been an employee he would have been what I call an office prairie dog. You know, the worker who keeps popping up over his cubicle, much like a prairie dog pops up from his hole to look around. Some people just can’t work in isolation and I was incredulous that this guy had been able to focus to do the detailed, accurate work that accountants must be able to do throughout his professional life. Then I heard the rest of his story…..
Howard had married a woman, also an accountant, who said when he opened his business, “Just put me in a back room, send the work in and close the door.” Howard said she was such a highly productive worker, that allowed him to go out and do what he loved to do which was to bring in new business. Eventually he brought in so much he had to find more wives, er, clones of his wife, who were just as happy in the back office. Howard was really a salesman who spoke fluent accounting. It enabled him to use his education, but tailor it to his personality. And everyone lived happily ever after when he sold his business for a healthy profit.
Not every apparent career mismatch turns out this well. Some men can’t reinvent themselves and find a niche in the same industry. If that has happened to you, it might be time to admit that the career’s not working and go home to play with the children (a very worthwhile vocation in itself) while pursuing a more realistic path, one that fits you “just right” (you think as you read that fairy tale for the umpteenth time to little Brenton and Kaitlyn). The important thing is to be sure that you discover your true talents before taking making a hefty investment in time and money, because, hey, you’re the one paying for that degree this time!
What? You still aren’t sure what those talents are? Then your’re not very different from most everyone else, according to Peter Drucker. So get on the fast track and contact me to find out! We can set a time to work together by phone while the children are napping.
Most people think they know what they are good at. They are usually wrong. More often, people know what they are not good at—and even then more people are wrong than right.
~Peter F. Drucker
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